Aaron and I went round to pray through some deep stuff with some friends from church last night. They are totally down to earth and trust God so really don't freak out at things being deep or shallow, or make much distinction between the two. It was brilliant and at one point it was so much fun that I could hardly stop laughing while we were praying (and I didn't really try to be honest)!

I had a bit of a revelation at one point, while we were chatting beforehand, and that is that everyone walks by faith. Davies, the husband of the couple we were chatting to, was talking about a challenge adventure that God took him on in Ireland, some time before he was married and had two kids, as they do now. The point of the story was that we should walk according to God's promises and not according to our experience; i.e. we don't draw truth from experience, but draw experience from the truth that is revealed in the Bible.

Doesn't that sound religious?! It's so religious that it's meaningless, and easy to agree with without really thinking about, but I think Davies must have used different language, because for some reason I started to think about it differently. I started to imagine the concept as, instead of walking on the "solid" ground of pavement, tarmac, grass etc, we could walk on the ground of God's words being laid down in front of us. For instance, when, at Bradfield, we had the party the solid ground of experience told us that it was a dangerous event to be holding. We had enough information to know that even guys from Brixton knew about it, and there is a massive rivalry (i.e. shootings happen based just on where you come from) between Peckham and Brixton. Besides that completely, the youth themselves were scared and a couple people had threatened us if we didn't let them in. We didn't have the proffessional security to deal with it. We had set the guest list at 120 max I think and apparently several hundred were due to turn up (I think in the end about 200 did). Despite several attempts we couldn't get through to the police. Even the youth had asked us to phone the police. All in all, according to experience, it could have been life-threatening.

BUT I believed it was right to go ahead. I believed it was right that the youth should be able to have a party that is not cancelled because one of them might be shot. More importantly (on the basis that just because something should be a certain way doesnt mean it is), I believed (and prayed desperately for help in my unbelief) that God had given me a picture of angels surrounding the buidling, and that He would look out for our safety. We prayed with faithful staff members. We asked everyone we knew connected to the place to pray. Somehow, and I barely even know how, we walked according to the reality of God's promises and not according to the reality of Peckham. We held the party, it was an enormous success, we managed to keep those not on the list out, and everyone was perfectly safe, to the amazement of even the police, who did drive buy and question us during the event.

But most of the time I don't walk on that ground; I walk on safe ground, and ask God to understand and to help me with it.

I was thinking about all of that and thinking about how DO you walk by faith, and what does that really mean, and then I suddenly realised that most people do it all the time, and the people who don't are labelled "paranoid." I am always amazed - totally amazed - at people's faith in crossing roads. They have faith that the car drivers who have stopped are not pscyho, and are not taking the opportunity to lure them into a position where they could easily accomplish a hit and run murder. People usually have faith walking down the road that no one on the road is out to get them or to get random members of the public. People usually have faith that when the bus sign says a bus is coming in 10 minutes, it's not lying, even if it's not totally accurate i.e. buses are coming, at some point, soonish. I don't think it's that people are amazingly trusting, but just that you can't have a life, really, without some extent of "walking by faith." So...I guess that helped me to think, "It's not such a huge jump. It's not so crazy. In fact, as I absolutely do believe that God is far more reliable than random members of the public who I put my faith in every day, to live by faith in God is very conservative behaviour, though it may well and does lead to the most crazy-seeming actions. I just gotta choose what I put my faith in, and hope for a growing quantity of faith, and keep talking - because any relationship needs that."

It's an interesting thought.

I just looked at the Wileys photos online of their trip out to Indonesia this Christmas and I am so unbelievably utterly jealous. I am so so homesick, I miss it so much. I just adore the barefooted simplicity and the adventure and the sun and the outdoors. I adore the beach and the being together and the makeshift and the adventure. I adore the beauty and I need it like a plant needs the sun, and here I am in bloody freezing England where I literally (no exaggeration) wear four or five layers and a winter coat just to go outside and can hardly move cuz of the layers. I miss the light and the holiday feeling and the fun fun fun fun fun. I want to go. I am pouting. I WANT TO GO!